Luke's Horoscope and Rachel's Jelousy
by gilmoreluver06
Summary: Rachel's jelousy spirals once she learn's about Luke's horoscope from Lorelai
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Lorelai and Rachel are walking into the diner from thier shopping trip for new clothe's for Luke when Luke is getting off the phone with a customer.

''What the hell is all this?'' Luke asks them

''The results of our shopping trip all accomplished in two hours.'' Lorelai tells him

''Impossible.'' Luke says

''I'm a savant.'' Lorelai says

''And everything's returnable?'' Luke asks

''Yes, yes, now sit down and relax. Let me show you what we got.'' Lorelai tells him

''Can I have my credit card back please?'' he asks her

''Yes Fine.'' (she Takes the card out of her purse and hands it back to Luke.)

''Looks tired.'' Luke tells her

''What's all this?'' (Luke gestures to the other shopping bags.)

''Well Luke, timing is a beautiful thing.'' Lorelai tells him

''It is?'' Luke asks her

''It is. So we're at the mall,and I've had two sugar cinnamon pretzels and I'm buzzed on the sugar and jazzed about the purchases and we decided to take a victory lap through Bloomingdale's, and it just so happens that there was an amazing sale in the men's department. I mean gorgeous stuff. Look at this.'' (she pulls a sweater out of a bag) ''Huh! Forty percent off! We got three different colors!'' Lorelai tells him

''For who?'' he asks her

''For you.'' she tells him

''For me?'' he asks her

''Yeah.'' (Lorelai walks over to another bag and pulls out a pair of pants) ''And then of course, beautiful pants. So soft, I don't know what this fabric is but I think I wanna have its baby.'' she tells him

''Okay, hold on a minute here.'' Luke tells her

(Lorelai walks over to another bag and pulls out a belt.) ''Also, we got this fabulous belt to go with the sweater and the pants. Simple. Black. But look at the buckle.'' she tells him

''I don't need a belt.'' he tells her

''Great buckle! Sixty percent off, can you believe it?'' she asks him

''No I cant look. '' he tells her

(Lorelai walks over to another bag and pulls out some shirts) Oh and I also picked up a couple of shirty shirts in case you didn't have a nice one to go with your suit.

''What suit?'' he asks her

''This one!'' (Lorelai says excitedly and grabs a garment bag, holds it up, and unzips it)

''Did no one at that mall notice that you were going through some sort of psychotic episode?'' Luke asks her

''This suit. 175 percent off.'' she tells him

''You were not supposed to be shopping for me.'' he tells her

''Well I thought you might like a little something new to wear when you take Rachel out tonight don't you want to look good and trendy?'' she asks him

''No thank you but take it all back I'm not wearing any of it.'' he tells her

''Aw, come on Luke at least just try them on.'' she tells him

''No way!'' he says

''You might like how you look.'' she tells him

''I'm fine with the clothes I have this outfit I close many a deal in this outfit this is my power outfit.'' he tells her

''Okay, all your other clothes are old and discusting see this blazer? It was 175 thousand percent off.'' she tells him

''Why the sudden need to dress me?'' he asks her

''I just thought you might look nice in some of these things and since they were 600 thousand percent off.'' she tells him

''No!'' he says

''Come on Luke, just try something on. How about this sweater don't you want to look good and clean?'' she asks him

''No!'' he says again

''Okay, how about the pants? Pretty pants!'' she tells him

''I'm not trying anything on.'' he tells her

''Hey, its not like the lumberjack look will ever go out it won't. But just once wouldn't it be nice not to be dressed like an extra from "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers"?'' she asks him

''Fine if it will make you happy I will try it on.'' he tells her

''Really I'm that convincing?'' she asks him

''Yes and Fine give me the stuff and here hold this.'' Luke takes out is wallet and hand's it to Lorelai and a little piece of paper falls out onto the floor and Lorelai pick's it up and read's it and realizes what it is and gasps and smiles. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

''Hey what's that?'' Rachel asks Lorelai

''oh it's this old horoscope I gave him when I first met him I wonder why he still keep's it in his wallet.'' she tells Rachel

''Come on out here already Luke!'' Lorelai screams at him

(Luke from off camera): ''I hate you, very much.''

''Save the sweet talk Get out here!'' Lorelai tells him

(Luke walks out from the back of the diner wearing some of the new clothes.)

''Excuse me sir, do you know where Luke is?'' Lorelai asks him

''Very funny.'' Luke says to her

''Oh my God, Luke, is that you?'' Lorelai asks him

''I feel ridiculous.'' Luke tells her

''That's because you don't have the belt on. ( She Takes the belt out of the bag and walks over to him.) ''Here.'' she says to him

''What are you doing?'' he asks her

''it's called accessorizing.'' she tells him

''I can put a belt on by myself, thank you.'' Luke says

''Okay, sorry. Hmm.'' Lorelai says

''What?'' Luke asks her

''I just. . .'' Lorelai says and stops

''What?'' Luke asks her

''I just have exceptional taste is all. Turn around.

''What?'' Luke asks her

''I just wanna make sure it all fits. Turn around.'' Lorelai tells him (Luke turns around.) ''Uh huh, uh huh'' Lorelai says

MAN AT COUNTER: ''Hey Fabio, I need the ketchup.'' the guy says

''Can you get that guy some ketchup?'' Luke asks Lorelai

''Why me?'' Lorelai asks him

''Because if I spill any stuff on this I won't be able to return it.'' Luke tells her

You're not returning those clothes.

''Oh yes I am.'' Luke tells her

(Lorelai gives the man the ketchup. She picks up Luke's suit off the table and walks over to him.)

''Here, try on the suit again.'' Lorelai tells him

''I already tried it on twice.'' Luke tells her

''I know, but I want to see it with the black shirt.'' Lorelai tells him

''I'm not wearing a black suit with a black shirt.'' Luke tells her

''Regis does.'' Lorelai tells him

''Okay, you've won me over now.'' Luke tells her

''At least try on the jacket again.'' she tells him (Lorelai helps Luke put the jacket on again.)

''This is how you like your guys, all GQ'ed up huh?'' Luke asks her

''Its not GQ'ed up, its just a little less casual.'' Lorelai tells him

''And you don't like casual.'' Luke tells her

''I like casual fine.'' Lorelai tells him

''Just not on me.'' Luke says

''No, it just adds variety. Its not lets make a new Luke, its lets see another side of the old one.'' Lorelai tells h

''Uh huh.'' Lorelai says

''You missed a loop. Come here.'' (Lorelai tells him and starts fixing his belt) ''What did you do?'' she asks him

''Wow!'' Lorelai says

''what?'' Luke asks her

''nothing it's just that I really know how to dress a man.'' Lorelai says

''You...You look good Luke.'' Rachel says

''thanks!'' he says

''hey let me ask you something what the hell is this why do you still have this?'' she asks him and looks at him weirdly.

''oh give me that please put it back.'' he takes it from her and put's it back inside his wallet.

''so come on Luke I want to hear the story.'' Rachel tels him

''No!'' he says

''it is a pretty good story to tell.'' Lorelai tells her

''it's just a long story to tell.'' he says

Rachel and Lorelai both look at him.

''Fine.'' he says

''It was at Luke's, it was at lunch, it was a very busy day, the place was packed, and this person -.'' Luke says

[Lorelai gasps] ''Ooh, is it me? Is it me?'' she question's him sarcastically in front of Rachel.

''This person comes tearing into the place in a caffeine frenzy.'' he tells them

[Lorelai gleeful] ''Ooh, it's me.'' Lorelai says

''I was with a customer. She interrupts me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee, so I tell her to wait her turn. Then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what. So finally I turn to her, and I tell her she's being annoying -- sit down, shut up, I'll get to her when I get to her.'' he tells them

''Y'know, I bet she took that very well, 'cause she sounds just delightful.'' she tells him

''She asked me what my birthday was. I wouldn't tell her. She wouldn't stop talking. I gave in. I told her my birthday. Then she opened up the newspaper to the horoscope page, wrote something down, tore it out, handed it to me.'' he tells them

[Lorelai dryly] ''God, seriously. You wrote the menu, didn't you?'' Lorelai asks him

''So I'm looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under "Scorpio," she had written, "you will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away." I gave her coffee.'' he tells them

[Lorelai grinning] ''But she didn't go away.'' Lorelai says and smiles at him

''She told me to hold on to that horoscope, put it in my wallet, and carry it around with me - [pulls a small scrap of paper from his wallet and holds it out to Lorelai] one day it would bring me luck.'' he smiles at Lorelai

[Lorelai teasing] ''Well, man, I will say anything for a cup of coffee.'' she tells him.

''I can't believe you kept this. You kept this in your wallet?'' [sees his serious expression] ''You kept this in your wallet.'' Lorelai looks at him

''Eight years.'' he tells her

[Lorelai is touched] Eight years.'' she says and smiles back at him giving him the eyes he loves. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

''so enjoy the clothes I'm just going to go and get Rory have fun you two.'' Lorelai tells Rachel and Luke

''okay bye.'' Luke says and watches her leave all upset without getting the chance to talk to her about what she is feeling.

''bye Lorelai.'' Rachel says

(Rachel picks up her luggage and walks out from behind the counter.)

''So you're leaving huh?'' Luke asks her

''Yeah.'' she tells him

''Were you even gonna tell me?'' Luke asks her

''I was waiting for you to get back so I could say goodbye.'' Rachel tells him

''Yeah, you at least always do that. So go.'' Luke tells her

''Don't you even want to know why?'' Rachel asks him

''I know why.'' Luke says

''I don't think you do.'' Rachel says

''It's just like all the other times Rachel. You're the anywhere but here girl, you're restless, you're bored, it is what it is.'' Luke says

''That's not it.'' Rachel tells him

''Then what is it? Is there another guy?'' he asks her

''No.'' Rachel tells him

''Then what?'' he question's her

''It's another girl.'' Rachel tells him

''What? You telling me you're. . .'' Luke says

''The other girl isn't for me Luke, it's for you.'' Rachel tells him

''Okay. Now that's crazy.'' Luke tells her

''Yeah?'' she question's him

''Yeah.'' he says

''No.'' Rachel says

''You feel you need a different excuse this time to mix things up a little, fine. But you are not leaving because of me.'' he tells her ''I'm sure you tried Luke. But admit it, you're heart wasn't in it.'' she tells him

''My heart was in it. I was here, I didn't leave. . . .I don't get this.'' he tells her

''Luke.'' Rachel says

''And what are you talking about, another girl. What other girl?'' (Rachel stares at him) ''Oh Rachel, no, you don't mean. . . She and I are just friends. I told you that a thousand times.'' Luke tells her

''No. You told it to me once. And now this thing with the whole horoscope and 8 year's thing you could barely get it out.'' Rachel tells him sympathically

''Okay, this is crazy. You've got it wrong here. It's not. . .She and I are. . .uh. . .'' Luke pauses

''I'm gonna go. I'll miss you (she hugs him goodbye) Stay in touch.'' she tells him

''Rachel, come on.'' Luke says

(Rachel walks to the door and stops. She turns around to look at Luke.)

''So don't wait too long okay.'' Rachel tells him

''To what?'' Luke asks her

''To tell her.'' Rachel says and leaves. 


End file.
